Train of thoughts

Love Vs Arranged Marriage



Love
marriage (Great choice but a difficult option)

MEANING: Girl and Boy fall in love and decide to get married

ADVANTAGE: Girl and Boy love each other

PROBLEMS: Parents, society, religion/caste (even gothra!!!)

DESCRIPTION

Love marriages according to me are a great option… The guy and girl know each other well and have made the decision to spend the rest of their lives together… Now in this happy scene come certain obstacles… Parents – Relatives – Society – Caste/Religion etc…

If parents are happy then there can be nothing like it. Now you only need to convince your relatives (if you find it necessary 🙂 ). If parents are unhappy then that is the biggest hurdle. Parents bring their children up with a lot of love and concern. Take care of your every whim and fancy. Hurting them does not leave you happy. What we often forget is that parents also do care about our happiness and at the end of the day they do understand you (well they have for so many years 🙂 ). Yes I do know some parents who care more about the society/status than their children. In such cases love marriages can prove a very bad idea. What I believe is if you have faith in your love then you must also have the strength/drive to convince your parents.

Religion/Caste is another major reason why many love marriages don’t take place. Apart from convincing parents the other major problem with inter religion/caste marriages is the huge shift in culture/faith that you’ll have to go through. This is a serious issue to which you cannot turn a blind eye. Preparing yourself for these changes is very important.

MORAL: Love marriages are good as long as you don’t hurt your loved ones.

PERFECT FOR:  “Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega” attitude 🙂

Arranged marriage (Tough choice but a convenient option)

MEANING: Parents know each other and decide their kids should get married

ADVANTAGE: Parents are happy

PROBLEMS: Boy and Girl compatibility, like-mindedness etc

DESCRIPTION

Arranged marriages these days aren’t as bad as they show it in movies…

Father: “Maine tumhare liye ladka dhoond liya hai.. Kal tumhari shaadi hai…”

Daughter: <<sob sob>>

In today’s times arranged marriages are more organized or should I say business like. It’s become a business for many (Shaadi.com, bharathmatrimony.com, times classified… oh how can I forget PerfectBride and Rakhi ka swayamvar!!!).

Parents hunt for alliances through a host of mediums now available. They arrange for meetings with the prospective groom/bride family… Girl and Boy meet share and discuss their likes/dislikes/interests/future plans. Finally girl/boy discusses with their parents and takes a decision.

The biggest problem with arranged marriages according to me is “making the decision”. How do you decide who you are going to marry? This question has always baffled me. I have asked my friends who chose arranged marriages as an option and I get responses like “You’ll know”, “There will be that chemistry”… Honestly I’m still not convinced… How much can you decide in one meeting… and more importantly what is it that you are looking for in your future husband/wife?

I feel arranged marriages are more like a business deal. Both parties advertise their strengths and when a best match is found the deal is closed. I know I might sound very pessimistic but honestly the only thing good about arranged marriages is that you have the consent of everyone (by this i mean parents, relatives and society). Having said all this I do believe that arranged marriages work. After all a lot of thinking has gone into it 😀

MORAL:  Arranged marriages are not all that bad as the final decision rests on you 🙂

PERFECT FOR:  Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham… Love your parents’ 🙂 type of people

CONCLUSION

Be it love at first sight or love after a lot of sightseeing 😀 if it works for you… well and good. My best wishes are always with you 🙂

 

Love marriage (Great choice but a difficult option)

MEANING: Girl and Boy fall in love and decide to get married

ADVANTAGE: Girl and Boy love each other

PROBLEMS: Parents, society, religion/caste (even gothra!!!)

DESCRIPTION

Love marriages according to me are a great option… The guy and girl know each other well and have made the decision to spend the rest of their lives together… Now in this happy scene come certain obstacles… Parents – Relatives – Society – Caste/Religion etc…

If parents are happy then there can be nothing like it. Now you only need to convince your relatives (if you find it necessary 🙂 ). If parents are unhappy then that is the biggest hurdle. Parents bring their children up with a lot of love and concern. Take care of your every whim and fancy. Hurting them does not leave you happy. What we often forget is that parents also do care about our happiness and at the end of the day they do understand you (well they have for so many years 🙂 ). Yes I do know some parents who care more about the society/status than their children. In such cases love marriages can pose a very bad idea. What I believe is if you have faith in your love then you must also have the strength/drive to convince your parents.

Religion/Caste is another major reason why many love marriages don’t take place. Apart from convincing parents the other major problem with inter religion/caste marriages is the huge shift in culture/faith that you’ll have to go through. This is a serious issue to which you cannot turn a blind eye. Preparing yourself for these changes is very important.

MORAL: Love marriages are good as long as you don’t hurt your loved ones.

PERFECT FOR:  “Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega” attitude J

Arranged marriage (Tough choice but a convenient option)


MEANING: Parents know each other and decide their kids should get married

ADVANTAGE: Parents are happy

PROBLEMS: Boy and Girl compatibility, like-mindedness etc

DESCRIPTION

Arranged marriages these days aren’t as bad as they show it in movies…

Father: “Maine tumhare liye ladka dhoond liya hai.. Kal tumhari shaadi hai…”

Daughter: <<sob sob>>

In today’s times arranged marriages are more organized or should I say business like. It’s become a business for many (Shaadi.com, bharathmatrimony.com, times classifield… oh how can I forget PerfectBride and Rakhi ka swayamvar!!!).

Parents hunt for alliances through a host of mediums now available. They arrange for meetings with the prospective groom/bride family… Girl and Boy meet share and discuss their likes/dislikes/interests/future plans. Finally girl/boy discusses with their parents and takes a decision.

The biggest problem with arranged marriages according to me is “making the decision”. How do you decide who you are going to marry? This question has always baffled me. I have asked my friends who chose arranged marriages as an option and I get responses like “You’ll know”, “There will be that chemistry”… Honestly I’m still not convinced… How much can you decide in one meeting… and more importantly what is it that you are looking for in your future husband/wife?

I feel arranged marriages are more like a business deal. Both parties advertise their strengths and when a best match is found the deal is closed. I know I might sound very pessimistic but honestly the only thing good about arranged marriages is that you have the consent of everyone (by this i mean parents, relatives and society). Having said all this I do believe that arranged marriages work. After all a lot of thinking has gone into it 😀

MORAL:  Arranged marriages are not all that bad as the final decision rests on you J

PERFECT FOR:  Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham… Love your parents’ J type of people

CONCLUSION

Be it love at first sight or love after a lot of sightseeing 😀 if it works for you… well and good. My best wishes are always with you 🙂

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12 thoughts on “Love Vs Arranged Marriage

    1. lol… love cum arranged is usually more of a love marriage than arranged (atleast in your case :-P)… you try to make it look like an arranged one… You cannot fool me 😛

      1. yeah that’s the same with love marriage too… there are formalities to be followed… you just don’t run away and get married :-D… Yours is a love marriage accept it 😉

  1. Dint expect this topic from u :PPP I am just waiting for the day when u would either ping/message/call me saying u getting married!! 😉
    My Jijju come sooooooooooooooooooooon!

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